Somehow we all think that Happiness is the feeling that we need to strive for, to look forward to or achieve it at any price. This feeling looks like some island, bubble, sphere which we need to find and then, enter it. Also, we think that we need a plan to achieve happiness, so we create lists – a car, a flat, work, relationships, money, travelling…. endless lists that we are so good in achieving.
In the below article I am going to argue all this. I am going to state that being happy is a capability that needs to be developed; it is a skill that needs to be learned in a childhood.
Here, I want to keep parents accountable for it – instead of teaching to follow the rules, they need to teach a child how to manifest his authenticity. Instead giving the orders, asking to follow the logic, the parents have to nurture that little creature to look for himself in every piece that surrounds him. It is important to learn what situations makes you feel happy, it is important to develop that capability to listen to yourself – every hour, every minute, every second. The child has to learn to choose his fights and then how long to try, how hard to try and when to stop. And yes, all of this should be learned in a childhood.
I hope you are one of these children that I was so jealous about – super authentic and capable to be happy. If so, there is no point for you to read the below. And if not, then I have some good news for you. Nothing is lost and you are not condemned to stay in eternal search for happiness. Just you have to start the other way around.
- First of all, develop capability to be strong. By saying “s t r o n g” I do not mean that you have to be proud, tearless or emotionally closed. I mean that you need to be sensitive, brave, emotionally open and calm. This is not easy, but possible.
- Then, develop capability to l i s t e n. Listen, listen and listen. Not to the others, not to the surrounding sounds, not to the radio or television. Listen to yourself, to that little voice inside you. It is happiness speaking!
I believe that happiness is that annoying voice that speaks with us when we are alone, tired or nostalgic. It is a feeling that catches us in the most unexpected situations and the voice of happiness is not always heartwarming or soft. It might manifest when you see something that you lack of and the happiness in the voice of sadness tells you “Please look for me, I want you to feel me, I want you to feel happiness. Please, don’t give up”. This is the moment when we choose if we want to be happy.
I am not going to encourage you to learn to be happy because it is worth it. No, it is your choice, it is your life – do whatever you feel like. The only thing that I wish for you is that when one day you will be sitting alone on a foot-bridge, watching the sky full of stars, when the silent sound of water and the smell of sleeping nature will make you feel nostalgic, I wish that at that moment the little voice within you would say “Thank you for listening to me, we are happy, I know that now you have all you need”.